Thursday, April 23, 2015

How's Grandfather Ticking Along?

Were all those clocks safely delivered to Pentagram Square?


After careful inspection, all grandfathers are pronounced to be in good working order . Good job!

Home, James, and Don't Spare the Horses

Taking the pairs race first, Chester the Centaur and Gibby Honeydew spend the last leg tracking Tommy Two-Time and Buzz the Uruk with dogged determination and reach the central streets literally breathing down the neck of their rivals. Gibby finally applies the infamous axe leg to Chester's flank and the flying centaur rockets past the helpless uruk and time-twisting man to pip them at the post by a short head (Gibby's). The event is so popular that it will be included in future years alongside the main event.

Last back in the singles is Phlaag, driving with style and dignity into Pentagram Square where Lucky, who owns a haulage business, is quick to offer the ogre a senior position and will both talk and eat turkey.

Getting home ahead of the ogre and the pairs was Hrrothgar. The hairy barbarian really gave up on the race when he descended into some catacombs but he did come up with a winged helm which, although it didn't allow him to fly horse and cart, does bode well for a rather more airy approach to future dungeon delving.

Just out of the medals are Kangaroo Jack and Dalup the Dwarf. Both have been taciturn during the race, preferring to let their driving do the talking. Jack trailed Dalup by 10 minutes overnight and they spend the day in a dogfight, both killing more than fifty. The finish neck and neck, not even a retrospective 'Freeze Time' spell by Wizard Control showing any separation. They shake hands but the dwarf clearly regards Jack as something of a bounder.

The local favourite, Lucky, can't pull magic out of the bag and has to settle for a creditible third place. He won last year and is gracious in defeat, only spitting at a bunch of desicated mummies, who seem grateful and grow in stature.

The big showdown, seen earlier in the piece than the above, sees an epic see-saw battle between Phloog and Ivy. All through the suburbs, the lead changes hands after Phloog came booming out of the dawn's first rays while Ivy could not help but stay tucked up, even though she is not that sort of vampire.

In the final dash to the line, Ivy urges her vampire horse to greater exertions than Phloog can coax from his animal and the 10,000 GPs prize and the victory laurels go to the young lady. The Mayor is somewhat shy with regard to vampires and extends an offer of a place by his side at the crowning banquet to the ogre. Trade is expanding in Khaboom and although the city has a long-term contract with Lucky for high-value deliveries, Phloog is offered a contract for the new business to the east (in the direction of the ogre peninsula).

And the clocks?

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Mixed Doubles

And in the unofficial pairs race, it is neck and neck with Buzz and Tommy just ahead of Chester and Gibby.

Gibby has put a cover on his axe leg but if appying it naked to Chester's flanks would make the difference, the bookmakers are predicting he will go for it..

Blood will out!

The Cart Before The Horse

The Cart Before The Horse

Faced with a ravenous vampire horse to tend to, Ivy has a great stroke of fortune and passes a knacker's yard where she purchases a decrepit beast destined for the gluepot. The blood does the trick for her horse and she flies along the road to the city centre, barely missing a beat.
The ogre brothers may well have benefitted from the Jasmine Dragon tea as they are both jet-propelled and Phloog has Ivy in his sights (or from her perspective, he is choking on her dust).
Lucky has pulled away from both Dalup and Kangaroo Jack and is intent on hooking up with a transport vortex, known to very few in the city but quite possibly detectable by him.
Lucy Bottom is forced to join Rainbro in dropping out when her horse (a sentient beast, known as 'Smartie') gets bored with proceedings and heads back home to Castle Bllstrik, heedless of Lucy's curses - actually, Lucy too decides that plunder is more attractive than merely finishing the race).
It is hard to tell what Hrothgar has in mind. The throaty barbarian stumbled across the entrance to some long-forgotten catacombs and has disappeared from view. Rumours in the city suggest he has unearthed a valuable relic but whether it will assist him in the race or just lift him up to the skies in glory remains to be seen (bonus 'treasure' roll for Hrothgar).

With Pentagram Square and the cheering multitudes just around the corner for the leaders, the standings are:

Ivy        232
Phloog        223.5
Lucky        210
Dalup the Dwarf        197
Kangaroo Jack        196
Hrothgar        193.5
Buzz/Tommy        157.5
Chester/Gibby        155.5
Phlaag        112

Tomorrow will see a winner crowned so honour the Dice Goddess!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The Home Straight

Galloping past the great outer wall of Khaboom come the leaders!

There have been a few complaints about the tea drinking of yesterday evening but c'est la vie - a level playing field was provided and that is more than most get.

The tragedy of the day is the death of a horse. Rainbro pushes his animal past the limit of its constitution and it gives up the ghost. All he can do is to whisper a few words of thanks and commend the passing of a brave soul before hitching a ride back to Khaboom with Lucy Bottom, who seems glad of the company.

The standings are:

Ivy 223
Phloog 199.5
Lucky 193
Dalup the Dwarf 192
Kangaroo Jack 186
Hrothgar 178.5
Buzz/Tommy 152.5
Rainbro 147.5
Chester/Gibby 143.5
Lucy Bottom 98
Phlaag 88

The two dwarves are racing neck and neck and have Phloog in their sights; Kangaroo Jack and Hrothgar are slipping out of contention while Ivy seems able to drive her vampire horse as hard as she likes without penalty.

Bonus rolls tomorrow accrue to Phlaag, Phloog and Jack.

Gibby now believes this is a pairs race and sees Buzz and Tommy as the only rivals to Chester and him (they both get a bonus roll).

The betting is settling now with books closing on Ivy... but you never now where those doubles will land...
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Monday, April 20, 2015

A Nice Cup of Tea

Tyree is a one street town and its most obvious attraction is the Jasmine Dragon Tea Rooms. Since Gibby is in the race - and is still some distance from Tyree - the Tea Rooms are calm and the people are not as much on edge as they would otherwise be.

Jasmine Dragon tea has definite magical properties: sometimes they are beneficial and sometimes they are detrimental to health, happiness and diverting from one's purpose.

As not all the wagon drivers have reached Tyree this night - and two have been and gone - the citizens kindly bring tea for everyone who is not able to able to sup in the Tea Rooms.

Those getting a favourable reaction to the tea are Gibby (of course!), Ivy, Lucky, Rainbro, Tommy and Buzz (all get an extra roll every turn from now); those having adverse responses are: Phloog, Dalup, Hrothgar, Lucy and Phlaag (does not mix well with ogre blood, 'twould seem) who will from now on suffer 1,3 as a critical fumble as well as 1,2.

Standings are:

Ivy 207
Phloog 191.5
Dalup the Dwarf 182
Kangaroo Jack 178
Hrothgar 173.5
Lucky 173
Rainbro 144.5
Buzz/Tommy 138.5
Chester/Gibby 119.5
Lucy Bottom 91
Phlaag 80

The number target for the finish is 240. From Tyree to Khaboom, the test is on the horse's constitution. Ivy's vampire horse may well prove a tough old beast and Gibby should be able to rely on Chester to soldier on but the others?
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Sunday, April 19, 2015

A Perilous Pitstop


Those punters backing the centaur a more than a little alarmed when he turns round and heads back towards Pillbox in the dark of the night. It transpires that he has heard the sounds of conflict and stumbles upon Gibby and his assailant. The hobbit more than likely would have woken up and given his enemy a right seeing to but even Gibby remembers his manners and thanks Chester when he works out it's not a kidnap attempt. At this point, Gibby decides to abandon his wagon, kicking it to pieces in a sudden tempest of temper, and joins Chester for the rest of the trip, promising him a real drink up when they get to Tyree.

Buzz and Tommy eventually fend off their attackers and get going but they seem a sorry sight, both nursing bruises and black eyes and progress is slow, with frequent stops because the jolting journey sits well with neither their nerves nor their bones.

Both Ivy and Phloog make it into Tyree before nightfall and look well set for the race to Khaboom, the prize and the title. The ogre is growing anxious about the fate of the wench one the race is over (more below).

Here are the standings:

Ivy        193
Phloog        187.5
Dalup the Dwarf        178
Kangaroo Jack        172
Hrothgar        168.5
Lucky        160
Rainbro        133.5
Buzz/Tommy        129.5
Chester/Gibby        113.5
Lucy Bottom        86
Phlaag        76

Note from Mad Roy:-

In the city of Khaboom is an establishment called Luker's Place. It is run by a beautiful woman names Philathea Lukeromanowishkawsi. She grew up in the slums of that metropolis, and clawed her way to the top. She married two very rich old men both of whom died with a big smile on their face. With her inheritance she built the Place, a huge hotel with restaurant, a sports arena, a casino, and a high class tavern. She is known for taking beautiful young women off the streets and turning them into high class courtesans which she then arranges marriages with the upper crust of society. She is a major player in the politics and business of Khaboom.

Phloog has made many deliveries to her Place and she likes him. He knows that Zillayna would not be happy with him in the long run, and is thinking he could take her to Luker's place when the cart race is over. The half-ogre thinks Hrothgar is not the kind of fellow to take proper care of this girl he has come to love. Philathea would make her a lady and find her a good match.